What type of Buffet Eater are you?
Here at 20 Bedford Way, we have experienced more than our fair share of buffets. From those we offer as part of our bespoke events catering to those that we’ve attended over the years at weddings, parties and functions. During this time, we have started to identify some clearly recognisable types of buffet eater. We have used this knowledge to create these ten profiles. Check them out and find out what type of buffet eater you are…
All illustrations by Damian Daly.
For those using a screenreader, find out how you eat a buffet and what category you fall into:
The Plate Piler
The Plate Piler is a master engineer, able to construct a pyramid of foodie delights upon a modest plate. Their greed is only surpassed by their knowledge of the load-bearing strength of a vol-au-vent and the structural weak-points of a Pringle.
The thief is a master of slight of hand and diversion. With exceptional dexterity, they will wrap a picnic lunch in a napkin and squirrel it away in their bag in the blink of an eye.
The Grand Inquisitor
The Grand Inquisitor does not enjoy a buffet. The range of options throws up more questions than it answers. They spend so much time asking what something is, what’s in it and cross-referencing it with their preferences and dietary requirements that they eventually run out of time to eat anything.
The Adventurer visits the plates that others dare not. With a taste for the exotic, the Adventurer’s plate will be a smörgåsbord of unusual delights. It will feature only those items that nobody else can identify. Sandwiches are so blasé, pineapple and cheese so 1980s – the intrepid Adventurer finds satisfaction in quinoa, random shrubbery and pastry parcels with bizarre oozing fillings.
The One Hit Wonder
You cannot predict what the One Hit Wonder will choose but boy, will you know it when they do. The One Hit Wonder zeroes in on one buffet item and fills their plate with it.
The Little But Often
A minimalist at heart, the Little But Often will skilfully arrange a few carrot batons around a single slice of quiche on a plate. The simplicity will please them no end but the meagre amount of food ultimately fails to sate their appetite. You will see them making numerous visits to the buffet table, returning each time with a small but perfectly formed selection.
The Snatcher is ‘just not that hungry’ but will proceed to casually pick at your plate and eat your food without once asking your permission. They can occasionally be seen attempting to soften the sheer audacity of their actions with a giggle or by incessantly talking.
Never moving from their seat, the Delegator is highly skilled at getting people to bring them exactly what they want from the buffet table. Persuasive but never forceful, they get made-to-order plates without even lifting a finger.
Found never more than a metre from the buffet table, the Loiterer positions themselves strategically. They get all they need and more, sometimes without even needing a plate. The Loiterer is a master of opportunism.
The Greatest Hitter
The Greatest Hitter takes just one plate to identify the best buffet items, mentally rating each component based on strict criteria. They then take extreme delight in loading each subsequent plate with the crème de la crème – safe in the knowledge that they are consuming the buffet’s greatest hits.
The Alan Partridge
The Alan Partridge will somehow acquire a larger plate than those clearly designated for the buffet. Like Alan’s ‘large plate’ in the comedy classic, this is a tactical and blatant flouting of the unspoken rules of the buffet. Bold but brilliant.
The Liquid Luncher
Foodstuffs are not of interest to the Liquid Luncher. With a glass of champagne in each hand and the ability to catch a waiter’s eye from 100 metres, the Liquid Luncher sticks to the motto ‘eating is cheating.’ They will, without fail, leave an event ruddy-cheeked and decidedly more merry than you.
Catered Events at 20 Bedford Way
At 20 Bedford Way, our various ‘blank slate’ event venues and meeting rooms are available catered or stand alone. If you want to find out more about hosting an event at 20 Bedford Way including our bespoke catering options then call our team on 020 7612 6143 or fill out a free online enquiry form.